sober-addict-protector

H - HUNGRY
├── Blood sugar drops trigger irritability and poor decisions
├── Skipping meals is a warning sign
└── Action: Eat something nutritious within 30 minutes

A - ANGRY
├── Unprocessed anger is a major relapse trigger
├── "I deserve to use" thinking emerges
└── Action: Call someone, write it out, move your body

L - LONELY
├── Isolation is the petri dish of relapse
├── "No one understands" thinking
└── Action: Reach out even when you don't want to

T - TIRED
├── Exhaustion erodes willpower
├── Decision-making suffers
└── Action: Rest if possible, reduce demands on yourself

S - STRESSED
├── Chronic stress depletes coping resources
├── "I need to take the edge off"
└── Action: Use stress reduction skills, reassess workload

+ SICK
├── Physical illness triggers vulnerability
├── Be extra careful with prescribed medications
└── Action: Tell your doctor about your recovery status

Before entering ANY environment, ask:

☐ Will substances be present?
☐ Will people who use be there?
☐ Can I leave if I need to?
☐ Does anyone know where I am?
☐ Do I have my escape plan?
☐ What's my reason for going?
☐ Am I in a good headspace?

If more than 2 boxes are concerning → RECONSIDER or PREPARE HEAVILY

When craving hits:

1. DELAY (15-30 minutes)
   ├── Cravings peak and pass
   ├── Set a timer if needed
   └── "I'll decide in 20 minutes"

2. DISTRACT
   ├── Physical activity (even a walk)
   ├── Call someone in recovery
   ├── Cold water on face/hands
   ├── Play the tape forward
   └── Change your environment

3. DECIDE (from a calmer place)
   ├── "Is this what I really want?"
   ├── "What happens tomorrow?"
   └── "What would future me thank me for?"

When romanticizing use:

"If I use right now..."
├── First 10 minutes: [brief relief, familiar feeling]
├── 1 hour later: [guilt, shame, hiding it]
├── Tomorrow: [hangover/withdrawal, broken promises]
├── 1 week later: [deeper hole, more damage]
├── 1 month later: [possibly back where I started or worse]

Now ask: "Is the first 10 minutes worth all that follows?"

"I notice I'm having a craving."
"This is uncomfortable, but it's just a feeling."
"I'm going to observe it without fighting it."

Rate intensity: [1-10]
Where do I feel it? [body location]

"I'm breathing into this sensation."
"Like a wave, it will rise... peak... and fall."
"I don't have to act on it."
"I'm just going to wait and watch."

[After 15-30 minutes]
"The intensity has shifted to: [1-10]"
"I survived this without using."
"Every time I do this, I get stronger."

If you're in a relationship and in recovery:

THE REALITY:
├── Your addiction affected your partner
├── Trust was damaged
├── Communication patterns are broken
├── Your partner may have their own trauma
├── Codependency patterns need addressing
├── Recovery changes the relationship dynamic
└── BOTH of you need support

THE RISK OF SKIPPING:
├── Unaddressed resentment builds
├── Partner may not know how to support you
├── Old patterns repeat
├── Relationship stress → relapse trigger
├── Partner burnout → relationship failure
└── Kids (if any) see unhealthy patterns continue

THE BENEFIT OF INVESTING:
├── Structured space to rebuild trust
├── Learn healthy communication
├── Process hurt WITH professional support
├── Both partners feel heard
├── Build a relationship that SUPPORTS recovery
└── Model healthy relationships for children

Financial barriers are real. Here are options:

├── Ask your treatment center for referrals
├── Community mental health centers (sliding scale)
├── Training clinics at universities (supervised students)
├── EAP through employer (often free sessions)
├── Online therapy (often cheaper)
├── Group couples therapy (if available)
├── Al-Anon/Nar-Anon + your program (free, different from therapy)
└── INVEST what you would have spent on substances

Key truth: The cost of NOT doing couples therapy
           often exceeds the cost of divorce.

General timeline:
├── First 30 days: Focus on individual stability
├── 30-90 days: May introduce family/couples work if stable
├── After 90 days: Couples therapy becomes more important

Signs you need it NOW:
├── Partner threatening to leave
├── Constant conflict at home
├── Partner is triggered by your recovery activities
├── Communication has completely broken down
├── One or both of you are "walking on eggshells"

"I'm in meetings/groups, why do I need individual therapy?"

Groups provide:
├── Peer support
├── Accountability
├── Shared experience
└── Community

Individual therapy provides:
├── Personalized attention to YOUR patterns
├── Trauma processing (can't do deeply in groups)
├── Underlying issues (anxiety, depression, ADHD)
├── Skill building specific to your triggers
└── Privacy for sensitive topics

BOTH are important. They're not interchangeable.

"I don't need therapy, I just need to stay sober"
→ Underlying issues will resurface if not addressed
→ Many people relapse because they stop at abstinence

"I can't be that vulnerable"
→ Vulnerability in a safe space builds strength
→ Start slow, trust builds over time

"It's too expensive"
→ What does a relapse cost? (Money, relationships, job, health)
→ Explore sliding scale options

"I don't click with my therapist"
→ Finding the right fit matters
→ It's okay to try different therapists
→ But also give it a few sessions before deciding

THE BIG 5 (do these every single day):
├── 1. Connect with recovery support
│      (meeting, sponsor call, recovery friend)
├── 2. Recovery reading or reflection
│      (10 minutes minimum)
├── 3. Physical movement
│      (exercise, walk, any movement)
├── 4. Regular meals
│      (blood sugar stability = emotional stability)
└── 5. Consistent sleep schedule
       (sleep deprivation is a major risk factor)

WEEKLY MINIMUMS:
├── At least 3 meetings/support groups
├── Sponsor/mentor contact
├── Therapy session (if in individual)
├── Self-care activity (not screens)
├── Review your relapse prevention plan
└── Check in on home relationship health

If you came close to using but didn't:

FIRST: You didn't use. Acknowledge that.

THEN PROCESS:
├── What was the trigger?
├── What warning signs did I miss?
├── What eventually stopped me?
├── What can I learn from this?
├── Who do I need to tell? (sponsor, therapist)
└── What needs to change to prevent next time?

IMPORTANT:
├── A close call is NOT failure
├── It's information
├── Don't shame yourself into silence
├── Tell someone who will support, not judge
└── Update your relapse prevention plan

LAPSE: A brief return to use followed by return to recovery
RELAPSE: Full return to addictive patterns

If you lapse:
├── Stop using immediately
├── Tell someone (sponsor, therapist, trusted person)
├── Don't "might as well" continue
├── Get back to recovery activities TODAY
├── Increase support temporarily
└── Process what happened without shame

Key: A lapse doesn't have to become a relapse.
     But secrecy and shame fuel progression.

CONCERNING PATTERNS:
├── Partner brings substances into the home
├── Partner dismisses your recovery ("one drink won't hurt")
├── Constant conflict without resolution
├── Walking on eggshells around each other
├── Partner hasn't addressed their own issues
├── Mutual resentment building
├── You hide things from partner
├── Partner controls your recovery activities
└── Feeling worse at home than in treatment

WHAT TO DO:
├── Name the pattern to yourself
├── Discuss with counselor/sponsor first
├── Request couples therapy
├── Set clear boundaries
├── Assess if the relationship supports or threatens recovery
└── Remember: Your recovery must be protected